Summer

Sorry I haven't been blogging lately.
During summer I just haven't found the time to do many things that I enjoy, including this. Which is sad because school is around the corner... So much to do so little time.


This summer has taught me so much more than I could ever imagine, a first for so many things, and second for many as well. I had my heart broken... twice. I learned the true meaning of life... I went back to my favorite place in the entire world. I got a little sun. Laughed until I cried and cried until I laughed with some of the most amazing people I could ever ask for. But, for as much as I learned this summer... I have so many more questions & desires. 


I am ready to endure sophomore year. I am actually excited to go back to school, but don't quote me on that. Honestly though, I think this year is going to be my favorite of them all. I am so much more... prepared. I guess that is the word I am looking for. My walk with the Lord is so much stronger and since I am reading his word more I feel like I can do anything, and the reason I feel like that is because I can. With him I can.


This moment that I am having is him in me, these moments where I feel strong and bold are rare lately though. I have been feeling sort of in a "fake happy" mode, if any of you have ever felt like that. Where you know you should be in high spirits and satisfied with your life, because you are so blessed... But it just feels as if something is missing? That "missing" piece may be what God has been wanting me to long for. Him. I know that should be what I am longing for, during this summer... I felt that being in a relationship with a guy makes me so much more happy. Which is NOT what God wants, of course he wants me to be happy but, I'm too young to be wanting to be "in love". At least... with a guy. God wants me to be in love with him and for him to make me the happiest. So that is a reason why I think this sophomore year is going to be great. Because I have realized that.


Thank you Lord for summer two thousand and ten.
I used to think that I wanted to erase some of the memories, but now I see that every single one that I have made has helped me grow closer in my walk with you.